Boys Boys Boys

Today I went to an unspeakably lovely beach in Montecito. It was impromptu, but I was feeling antsy and had two hours to kill before class. So I drove like someone on PCP to the ocean and finished (and by finished I mean started) my first massive overhaul of academic reading.

I had found a particularly nice spot in which I was laying slightly propped up by a slopping rock. This rock was also surrounded by many other stony spheres (haha), which blocked the wind a bit. It was a perfect situation. However, I was not the only one who realized this. Two adorable little boys in red and blue swim shorts were also enjoyed the bevy of boulders. I could feel them eyeing the opportune adventurous climbing situation. Unfortunately I was sitting directly in the middle of their cool time, and I am assuming their WAPSY upbringing didn't allow them to immediately trample my beached ass. It is a fitting metaphor; man has always wanted to conquer nature, but there is always one obstacle: women.

I tired to ignore them, but their precious Elmer Fudge speak started to permeate my reading (which wasn't difficult as I was sloughing my way through Ovid's Metamorphosis eeuuchh).

"Bwu-thurrr."

"We can't climb the rwocks. She will see us."

"But look at that one!"

"But we will be cwaught. She will see usssss."

Great. I was Dark Lord Sauron. Preventing innocence and beauty from having its day. I wanted to move, but then I felt the furtive glances of their mother back at where they were playing. I didn't want to seem rude, like her children were obnoxious, because they weren't and I don't even really like children. But I also wanted to move. It was a great spot. I felt bad for being in their way. Oh and I don't like children. IT WAS REALLY DIFFICULT.

I also started questioning to myself (super secret, like in my head) how can something so cute turns into such a demon being? They looked so precious and harmless, like puppies. But when I think about all the boys I have known, the past puppies that have turned into dogs (haha!), I am wary of such cuteness. It doesn't last. I know what you will become.

Then one of the little hobbit boy puppies decided enough was enough. Like the generations of men before him, he was going to survey the land and no two-bit female was going to stop him. Hobbit puppy then took a small bucket full of sand, and dumped it on my back.

Needless to say, I moved.

Image Credit: martianchronicles